Fathers' Day lessons

Happy Fathers' Day to all ye fathers. Be ye father to beast or man.

As we approached this holiday, I started thinking about fatherhood and what it means to me.

Fathers are (or should be) the principal example our children have of what manhood looks like. As such, the responsibility is high. Unfortunately, we fathers often forget just how heavy the load can be.

The way we treat our wives teaches our children a great deal about manhood. How we treat he will in many ways determine how your children will grow to teach members of the opposite sex.

• Our daughters learn from us how a man should treat a woman. They learn how men love. How couples work. They learn how they can expect to be treated once they begin looking for a man of their own. As such, we must be ever-vigilant with our respect, compassion, and affection for our wives. We must seek to work through problems and not run from issues that arise within a relationship. The model we provide as parents defines the template after which our daughters will begin their own lives.
• Our sons learn how they are expected to treat women. They learn how men love and that it is okay to be a little vulnerable. (Or at least we hope that is what we are teaching.) They learn from us how to expect to interact with the opposite sex. They learn what we can expect in a relationship and what is expected from us. We must seek to work through problems and not run from issues that arise within a relationship. The model we provide as parents defines the template after which our sons will begin their own lives.
• Both sons and daughters learn about commitment and the value of marriage. How we handle conflict and difficulty teaches the value of patience and the true value placed on marriage. This is an extremely valuable lesson. Teaching our children to follow through on the commitment of marriage and demonstrating the personal values we hold regarding marriage provide strong influence on our children. I firmly believe our commitments toward our own marriages will potentially save marriages for future generations.

The reverse of these lessons are equally true. If we provide poor leadership and bad examples of love and commitment, we risk the potential futures of our children. Fathers, the greatest gift you can give your kids is to love your wife. Stand by her, defend her, and rely on her. This simple (not always simple) act is the single greatest thing you can do to teach your children about relationships. No advice you ever speak aloud will ever have as much impact.

I am very grateful that my father was a man who loved his wife. He was a man who truly cared about his kids. He was by no means perfect and nether am I. He was a man though, who knew he was not perfect, but stood by his family and his commitment in marriage.

On this Fathers' Day, I reflect back on lessons learned as a son. Lessons my father taught me without trying to teach them. Lessons I learned through a lifetime of observation. I learned it is okay to love my wife and kids. It is okay to argue. It is better to make up. I learned that arguing does not mean there is no love. I learned that marriage is a commitment and it involves work. I learned that the work required is worth it.

While my wife and kids honor me today, I am reflecting on my own childhood and wishing I could thank my father for teaching me to be the kind of father I am. On this day, I wish to share the blessings my own children have given me with their grandfather. The knowledge that i am raising two Godly men is the best gift I could have ever given him. Certainly better than any tie, cologne or card he ever received from us when he was with us.

Thanks Dad... Lessons learned... Rest easy... I'm passing them on.