Pet Peeve: Stupid Insensitivity

Stupid Insensitivity:

Okay, I am going to tell a story to illustrate my point here.

First: A little history for those who don't know me that well.

I am legally Blind. My vision corrected is 20/400 . For most of you that means that I see about 5% what you do. I read very close to the page and I have done so for my entire life. (News paper has been known to smudge my nose.) I suffer (the medical term not mine) from Ocular Albinism and Nystagmus. I am color blind to boot. Ocular Albinism means I have no pgment within my eyes and have very little pigmentt in my skin and hair. My appearance does differ however, from what most associate with an Albino. (They generally have what a form of Oculo Cutaneous Albinism.) Nystagmus means my eyes "dance" or move uncontrollably. Low vision is a result of the eye not developing correctly.

(Don't hold up your fingers and ask. It's terribly droll and tells you nothing about me. I does however, tell me volumes about you. ;-)

The Stage is Set. Food Court. Market Square Mall in Decatur GA. October 1988. A seventeen year-old high school student is filling out his tax forms on the first day of his new job. Chic-Fil-A cup on the table, He is hunched over the micro-type, working hard to decipher the alien forms.

A couple is seated at a nearby table. Mother and teenage daughter. They are eating and enjoying a little "girl time."

So here I am. I am filling out these strange legal documents. I am more than a little stressed.

Mom (from the table next door) leans over and says, "Damn! you need some new glasses!"

Now you can imagine I am a little taken aback by this. I mean, I have never had a problem talking to any one who wanted to know about my visual difficulties. I take it as my duty to be an educator and advocate to the general public.

I look over at her and promptly reply, "Damn! you need some new manners!"

Daughter is beginning to sink below the table. I am not sure if it is out of embarrassment or simply to avoid the conflict. But she remains silent and is literally sinking in her seat.

Mom exclaims the she "never."

I reply that perhaps she "should have."

I am thoroughly mad and she is as well. She promptly picks up her bag and storms off. Her daughter slinking after.

This story gets to me on several levels as I grow older. I can be proud that I did not allow her to go unanswered. I can be disappointed that I let her get to me. I can also be upset that I messed one of the best come-backs I have ever thought of.

"Maybe so, but you need a new brain and some manners. I can go to a DR for mine. Where are you going to go?"

Anyway, I digress.

My point here is this.

Why is it that some people feel they can talk to me about me handicap as though it is not one?

If I were an amputee, I would never hear a stranger say that I walk "almost as bad" as they.

I here it all the time though from customers and others regarding my vision. I often get the, "Your eyes are almost as bad as mine." I generally ignore it. They are not worthy of the education I can provide. It simply amazes me that they seem to see nothing wrong with it.

Would these same people say similar things to a deaf person? do they tell granny to get a new hip because she needs a walker? Worse, would they address a person of a different race and suggest they get a new skin color? (Although our society has had times.)

I can not control how God made me. These are God's fingerprints you see here. I get by much better than many of those who have similar or worse problems. I am extremely grateful for the little vision I do have.

I can easily forgive a child with innocent curiosity. I gladly speak about my vision with anyone who has genuine interest and concern. What I see is less than many on a physical level. I see far more than many with my heart, mind, and soul. Education is a major role in the life of any person with a disability.

So why, after more than 20 years do I remember this one encounter more than any other?

I really can not say. It may be because of the stress load that it compounded. It brought to light the insecurities I was feeling as I began a new career. It brought what many call my invisible handicap into the visible realm.

I am not sure. I just know that this one incident has in many ways molded who I am. Would this woman ever remember it? Who knows? She made a difference in my life. I do not thank her for it. I do not condemn her either. I simply hope that her daughter learned something that day about being sensitive. I am sure she learned something she didn't want to learn about her mother.

So here it is. If you want to know about my eyes.... Just ask. Do so with respect and you will get an honest answer. You will likely get a lesson in anatomy as well. I only hope I also teach you a little more about the people that have limitations and have to do things differently. I hope I can teach yu just how much we can accomplish. I hope to teach you a thing or two about hear, drive, strength, and faith too.