I'll take an average kid with a side of mediocrity.

I had the privilege this morning to go on a walk with my teenage son. We got up early and took a little walk before starting the rest of our day.

As we walked, we had a chance to talk and think through some things that I decided to share here.

First, I want to say that I think I am a fairly decent parent. I love my kids. I try not to over-burden them with too may of life's problems. I do not however try to shelter them from the realities of the world. I have two sons who are healthy and intelligent. I am proud of the way they are both growing and am confident that they are growing to become Godly young men.

So Josh and I were walking this morning and talking a little about a lot. We talked politics, religion, culture, art, social anthropology, you name it. (I love that my boy is smart enough to have these conversations.) We talked about drama, and history. We talked about education in general. We just generally enjoyed spending time together.

As we walked and talked, the topic came to age and cultural norms. Josh asked a question about when states began requiring specific ages for kids to drive and things just sort of rolled from there. (anyone who knows me will attest that I can make strange connections between topics.) So the conversation sort of transitioned through several inter-related topics about society and age. I have been thinking on some of these things ever since.

1.) Why is it that we as a culture view those societies that still have teens in positions of personal responsibility as barbaric?

This question speaks about the way Americans often view cultures that consider young teens adults. Cultures that would have a 16 year old leading a hunting party heading a family. I concede that these are generally hunter / gatherer or farming societies. I submit that opportunities for higher education in these cultures are not widely available. These factors do not negate the fact that these youth are filling roles within their communities that are reserved for "grown adults" in the "civilized" world.

Are the youth there any more mature? Are American youth any less so?

Do we handicap our children by not allowing them to take on responsibilities beyond the schoolwork? Can our kids handle more than we ask of them? Are those other cultures expecting their youth to do too much? Are these kids being robbed of their "childhood?"

I do not claim to have answers to these questions that are absolute. I believe there is middle ground. Both sides have merit at points.

I remember the absolute turmoil that was adolescence. I recall with full detail the emotional / hormonal upheaval that made sound decision making a challenge. I ws of course raised in a typical western home. I had little expected of me beyond my school and chores. I knew nothing of the stress that made up the real world. I certainly remember feeling that too much was expected of me and that I had too much to worry about.

So how is it that kids across the globe can take on tasks and responsibilities that we in America would often reserve for those 18 and over? How is it that these kids can achieve these things. Are their bodies not going through the same hormonal / emotional storms that mine went through? What gives?

Well, I think the answer lies in management / parenting philosophy. The answers lie in the training and trust areas. I am certain you think I am nuts now. Allow me to explain.

Many managers are afraid to train their subordinates. They feel that if the employee becomes too independent that the manager will not be needed and will lose their job. This flawed logic is pervasive throughout the management world. Many parents likewise are fearful to teach their children because they need to be needed. Mommy doesn't want little Joey to grow up so fast.

Both sides of this philosophy are flawed. A parent's JOB is to raise children to become productive, independent, contributory members of society. In this the parent ensures the survival of the culture and society. The manager who wishes to advance would do well to train his replacement. He is best served demonstrating to his own manager that he has taught his staff to step up when he is promoted. Being the only person who can do something only means you will always do it. If you teach others to do the tasks you will be given new and more rewarding tasks.

I believe we as a society sometimes make this same mistake. We fail to teach our youth to fend for themselves. (interestingly by "educating" them." We fill our kids with book knowledge and fail to prepare them to fend for themselves so that we will always be needed.

Other cultures love their children and value the contributions their kids make. They teach the skills needed to survive. They expect their kids to produce. They expect them to make sure that others produce as well. In this way, a parent knows that society will carry on without them. They know that their children can take care of themselves and their parents should the need arise.

We debate whether to allow a teen to drive. We question the proper age to start working. We have no idea when our kids graduate from school it they can do anything to provide for themselves or us.

So who is right? I don't know. I certainly feel that education is essential. I believe we need to challenge our own ideas about what our kids are capable of. We need to raise the bar and expect achievement and personal responsibility. Kids need to be able to be kids. They do not need to have the worries of adulthood. They do need to have responsibility.

I want my boys to thrive. I want them to know, when they leave my home, that they have been prepared for life. I want to know that they will be able to provide for themselves and their community. I won't take an average kid with a side of mediocrity. I want exceptional kids with a side of excellence.