Gratitude

This morning I was asked a question by my good friend Greg Troxell (Well he asked the world via his twitter feed.) (It's thanksgiving day BTW.)

"What does Thanksgiving mean to you? #question #thanks #thanksgiving"

My response to him was, " @greg_troxell: thanksgiving is a day to reflect on the attitude behind your gratitude. Active appreciation." A twitter response will only allow me to answer in a couple hundred characters so I kept it simple.

gratitude is an attitude.

Every one of us has something in our lives for which we can be thankful. The biggest issue we have is a failure to recognize and acknowledge these things. It seems easier and far more fun to spend our time focusing on the negative. (Note: I said seems.) I believe it is just as easy to focus on the good we have in our lives. The challenge is in choosing where to put your focus. On November 1, I posted a challenge.

"Write three things you are thankful for. Do this once daily for 2 weeks. See how your general attitude changes."

I didn't get many responses, but I still believe the theory is sound.

Take a few moments EVERY DAY to think of two or three things for which you should be thankful. Let yourself recognize and appreciate those things. You may be surprised to learn just how much that little exercise can change how yo

ur whole life-view can change. Research shows such an exercise can be transformational. Studies are showing that simply ch0sosing to recognize things in our lives for which we are grateful can substantially increase our overall level of co

ntentment.

So What do you have to be thankful for? Yo

u may not like you job, but you have one. You may not like your home but you have one. You may have neither home or job, but you are alive. You have something to be thankful for. Look for them and you will be surprised what you will find. So have an attitude of gratitude. Decide to be thankful for something. List them out. Write them down. Add to the list as now ones come up. You might be surprised how long your list w

ill get.

Even better... You may be surprised how much better your mood will be. How grateful are you. Use the comment section to tell me a few thing

s for which you are thankful. I'll start.

• I am thankful for a family that loves me . My lovely wife and wonderful boys.
• I am thankful for friends who get that I have an addled mind that changes directions faster than a roller coaster.
• I am most thankful for a savior who love s me in spite of me.

  

What are you thankful for?

Studying for the Test

When a teacher puts a test before her students, it is generally to find out how well the lessons taught were learned. Information has been transmitted, homework assigned, reviews completed and finally a test is administered. All so the student can demonstrate that they have paid attention, internalized the information, and can use it.

Trials in life are like this. God allows test to come so we can demonstrate the lessons learned. We are given a chance to apply our "knowledge" by putting it into "action."

Generally, a teacher only administers the test once she believes the student should have learned the materials. In this way, the student can demonstrate their mastery of the concepts. When administering tests, most teacher have a fairly high degree of confidence in her students' ability to pass the test.

Sometimes however, the test is given to remind the students how much they have missed. show deficiencies in understanding and gaps in learning.

Is this how God works? Are our life tests ways for us to demonstrate how well we have learned the lessons? If so, is it a demonstration of God's confidence in us? Are our test results used to identify areas we need remediation?

I have come to believe this may just be - in part- true. We experience trials in life so we can apply the lessons we should have learned. How we do on these tests let us (and God) know where we are lacking.

If we are tested because God is confident that we have learned the lessons, how cool is that? If however, we are tested because the Teacher ants to remind us how little we know, how cool is that too? Both show an intense personal interest in our individual learning. What a blessing.

Either way. Whatever reason we are tested, the tests are always "Open-Book." We are encouraged to use our friends. Our Teacher will even provide the answer if we simply ask. Any failure of such a test is truly OUR failure. It is not a failure on the part of the teacher.

Failure in life tests can only be a result of our failure to utilize the resources made available to us. God has provided the answers. We just have to do our part and study.

How we handle the trials of life can be a wonderful tool for boosting God's kingdom. If we use the tools we have and rely on the lessons we have learned, other may also learn the answers. In this way, out trials can serve a purpose in serving others. See Ephesians 3:13. Conversely, if we fail to utilize the resources, we not only fail our own test, we may cause others to have difficulty in their own trials.

So I suggest we study before the test. When the test is in front of us, we need to ask for the answers. We need to use the answers we have already learned. We need to apply the knowledge and pass it to our friends so that they will have an easier time with their tests. point them to the Book. Lead them to the Teacher. Most of all... Study.

"Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that
need not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of Truth."
--2 Tim. 2:15.

You are in Customer Service: Whether you like it or NOT

CUSTOMER:
cus·tom·er
–noun
1.a person who purchases goods or services from another; buyer; patron.
2.Informal . a person one has to deal with: a tough customer; a cool customer.

Synonyms:

• client
• patron
• purchaser
• habitue
• prospect
• user
• buyer
• clientele
• patient
• guest
• vendee

A quick search of dictionary and thesaurus reveal something that much of american business has forgotten. There are more than one kind of customer. Different businesses have different jargon. Accountants have "clients" and doctors have "patients" Salesmen may have "prospects" or "buyers" while radio dj's have "listeners." All of whom are CUSTOMERS. This one bit of semantics has caused many professionals to forget that they are in the business of customer service.

I Had an experience this week that is likely familiar to many readers.

My Dr.s office called me to inform me that the appointment I had scheduled a month ago would have to be reschedules because, "something has come up in the office and none of the doctors will be in the office that day." Fortunately, they did call me a week before the actual appointment to inform me of the change. The problem is, I had scheduled my entire week around that one appointment in order to get my new prescription before leaving town for a week.

So I hit the books and rescheduled several days of work to accommodate the change. I called the doctors' office back to change the day and time only to find the office closed for the holiday. (They did not update their voice-mail system message to indicate the change in office hours .) I can now only hope they open Monday so I can schedule the new appointment.

This struck a nerve with me. The customer in me was not quite happy with the turn of events. I scheduled an appointment a month in advance. I based that appointment on when my doctor would be available. I rearranged my schedule around my doctor's in order to be there. So far, all the work was being done my me. ... And I was the one paying for it.

Whether we like it or not , the banker, doctor, judge, and electrician all have customers. No, they may not call them customers, but the people who receive their services (or lack thereof) are customers. Every parent, teacher, pastor,and foundryman have someone they serve. These may be children, students, parishioners and foremen but they are customers. ("people they must deal with") Problems arise when we forget this fundamental aspect of life.

Take a look at your life. Who are your customers? I have many. I have a wife, children, friends, and even my superiors at work. Oh, I nearly forgot. I also have my employees, my waitress, and ... oh yeah ... My Customers. The basic skills we use to handle our closest relationships are needed to deal with all our other "customers."

• respect
• listening skills
• attention
• consideration
• courtesy

These things are all absolutely essential to maintaining healthy relationships. Whether the relationship is with your spouse, sibling, customer, or superior these skills must be present for the relationship to thrive.

Was my doctor considerate and respectful of the effort that went in to my scheduling the original appointment? Was I respectful of the fact that something may have indeed, "come up"? You see, I am the customer of my doctor, but she is my customer as well. Her staff called me to let me know about the change. They offered alternative appointment times. These things certainly demonstrated respect, understanding, and courtesy. If I am a good customer, I must return those in kind.

Are you a good customer? Do you service your service providers with the same levels of respect, compassion or understanding? We must, "deal with" many people in out lives. How we "deal with" them goes a long way to making life a much more pleasant experience.

Remember.

You are in customer service. Whether you like it or NOT. Be a great customer by delivering Great customer service.

My mother used to tell me that to have good friends you had to be a good friend. You know, She was (and is) right. You have to be a good customer to have good customers.

The Meaning of Life

Hastily written published as is.

The Meaning of Life


I was playing around a few weeks ago with some old business card stock I had found while cleaning out my office. (Well, I moved a pile of junk and discovered half a box I had forgotten about.) I quickly whipped up a couple quickie business cards pointing to my linkedin profile and my main email address. On the reverse I wanted to put something that said a bit about who I am. I typed in the following and quickly printed up a page.

• Customer focused
• Results Drive
• Developing Teams to Excel in Sales, Service, and Retention
• Engaging Employees to Engage Customers

"Do not primarily train men to work. Train them to serve willingly and intelligently." - James Cash Penney

Pretty Cool huh? Well, I thought so. ... At first.

I Started thinking about the back of my card. What did it say about me? What does it say about who I am? I think the answer likely boils down to one work. - NOTHING.

I reads fine for a resume. It calls out my focuses in my work life. It calls to my customer and associate engagement focus. GREAT! ... SO? What I was trying to do with the cards was tell WHO I AM, not WHAT I DO. My profile could tell them my CV for business. I wanted this piece to convey my CV as a person. I had to figure that out for myself before I could get my new cards done.

Who am I? That question seems like one of the all-time easy ones to answer. Just write down your name and you get 50 points right? (That's what they tole mt when I took my SAT's anyway.) I soon discovered it is not as simple a question as it seemed. At least it was not that simple for me.

I am David Lee Fields
Born in Germany to American parents in 1971
I'm a Christian by faith and practice
I'm a husband, a father, an employee, and friend.
I'm a registered Republican.
I'm a Leo. (I however, place no stock in such things.)
5'8"
180lb
Sandy Blond Hair
Blue Eyes
Legally Blind with ADHD.

...

Is all that who I am?

I dunno.

If that is who I am, it that what I want on my B-card?

That I do know... NO!

I had to find a way to take who I AM and encapsulate it in a way I can convey on my personal card-backs. This should be fun... Maybe? ... I think I need a knew approach.

OOOOOH I know! A LIST!!

I decided to list all the things I could think of that were truly important to me. Things I either poses, strive for, or value in others. Here is a glimpse at my list. It is not my entire list as it continues to grow. It is representative of the things I found. Now to decide which ones go on my card. The parts of speech were of no importance. I am simply listing those things I value in a character. Those things to strive for in myself and I look for in others.

• Love
• Faith
• Family
• Friendship
• honesty
• integrity
• passion
• humility
• compassion, empathy
• intelligence
• patience
• respect
• loyal
• honor

...
You get the idea.

I wrote this list, I began to realize as I was not merely scribing my ideals of character but I was writing out my own personal meaning of life. My life purpose or objective. Not goals for business achievement only. These were aspirations for me to strive for in every aspect of life. Could I list these things on my card? (This is for a personal contact card after all.) What Items could I legitimately list, and what ones would be the equivalent of inflating the resume? Of those items I cannot list, why not? What is keeping me from being able to list them?

There it was. The Meaning of Life. Staring me bold-faced in the form of a bulleted list.

My meaning:

A man of integrity, honor, and respect. To demonstrate love and empathy when dealing with others. To be a good listener and treat others with compassion and patience. To try to be a man who is high-energy, healthy, and communicative. To exercise my faith transparently and with consistency. To nurture family and friends with wisdom and balance.

This then is the meaning of life. The meaning of my life. This meaning of life is an ever-growing mission statement for who I AM as a person. Not what I do in business. Not where I am from or my physical attributes. Those things are of little import if I am not living with purpose. If life has not meaning.

The back of my card is currently blank. I will be working on that. I do however, now carry a separate card case with a stack of cards reflecting the list I have made. Each card containing a single word emblazoned on it's face. on work from the list for each card. I may take these and imprint my card front onto them. Perhaps the back would simply contain a single word from my list.

David Fields
Respect

David Fields
Integrity

David Fields
Listener

David Fields
Loyal

What words would go on the back of your card?

What is your personal mission statement?

What is the meaning of your life?

Leadership motivators

I asked my followers across all my social networks a question yesterday.

What motivates you to follow a leader? Fear? Respect? Position? Love? What do you want to motivate those who follow you?

Answers came in throughout the day. I'll post a few here along with my ideas.

"Love and respect.."

We naturally allow those we love and respect to have a certain amount of influence with us. It's easy to follow these people. There is an inherent trust and with that we willingly follow.

"Leadership with a soft heart is better than leadership with a heavy hand."

"Definitely respect and the ability to LEAD, not just manage. No fear or intimidation, but expecting and driving results by getting in the trenches with the troops."
"Knowing for certain that the person has MY best interests in mind and probably knows them better than I do in that circumstance."

I notice an interesting common thread among these responses. .Respect for the worker / subordinate seems to be extremely high on the list of things that inspire people to willingly follow a leader. A mutual respect. Respect both demanded and returned in kind rank very high. So why do so many leaders attempt to lead by "heavy hand?"

I believe mature leaders understand the dynamics of leadership far more than the newly appointed leader. Veteran managers often have a better approach. This is of coarse not a hard and fast rule.

I first asked the question about why people follow leaders. The more important question is how you want your leadership to be? What approach do you use when leading others. Seeing the answers above about how people respond to certain leadership styles, I know the angle of attack I would take. I respect my people as people. I expect them to do their jobs and will let them know when they are off-mark. I do this with respect because I want them to improve themselves along with their performance.

There is certainly a ime when each approach to leadership is a necessity. In a combat situation, fear and respect for position are powerful tools in the leadership toolkit.

Whether we like the style of those in positions of leadership above us, be must always recognize the authority of position. We must act with respect for those in positions over us. Follow orders unless they are illegal or immoral.

Lead with integrity. Lead from the front of the group. Dive in and lead from the front lines. Respect your people and treat them with dignity. You just might find your staff are willing to follow you to the end of the world because they respect you and know you are in it for them as well as the success of the organization.

I started this post with 2 questions. The same questions are out there for you to answer for yourself. Decide how you and to follow and how you want to lead.

What motivates you to follow a leader? Fear? Respect? Position? Love? What do you want to motivate those who follow you?

CHANGE: Embrace it or Brace Yourself.

Change:

That word often causes knots to form in our stomachs. Change is often met with resistance (push-back) and fear. Why is this the case? After all, every advancement made in human existence has been the result of change. Does the word, "progress" not imply forward movement? A change in position? Advancement, progress, and growth can only occur when changes happen.
Bell Invented (patented) the telephone and revolutionized communications.
Edison's light bulb changed the way the world lived after sundown.
Braille transformed the world of the blind by opening the world of education and literature to them.

These men did not fear change. They saw change as absolutly essential to their missions in life. Mahatma Gandhi has been quoted as saying, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

What change in your life is imperative? What changes do you want to see in the world? Will you pour your time, energy, money, blood, sweat, and tears into achieving the changes you see as essential? Will you "Be the change?"

Embrace the change, find your dream, write it down, and chase it. Whatever you do, don't stand still and let the world decide for you where you go. You are going somewhere anyway. Shouldn't you be in charge of at least some of the changes?

Change is going to happen.
Embrace it or brace yourself for it.

Fathers' Day lessons

Happy Fathers' Day to all ye fathers. Be ye father to beast or man.

As we approached this holiday, I started thinking about fatherhood and what it means to me.

Fathers are (or should be) the principal example our children have of what manhood looks like. As such, the responsibility is high. Unfortunately, we fathers often forget just how heavy the load can be.

The way we treat our wives teaches our children a great deal about manhood. How we treat he will in many ways determine how your children will grow to teach members of the opposite sex.

• Our daughters learn from us how a man should treat a woman. They learn how men love. How couples work. They learn how they can expect to be treated once they begin looking for a man of their own. As such, we must be ever-vigilant with our respect, compassion, and affection for our wives. We must seek to work through problems and not run from issues that arise within a relationship. The model we provide as parents defines the template after which our daughters will begin their own lives.
• Our sons learn how they are expected to treat women. They learn how men love and that it is okay to be a little vulnerable. (Or at least we hope that is what we are teaching.) They learn from us how to expect to interact with the opposite sex. They learn what we can expect in a relationship and what is expected from us. We must seek to work through problems and not run from issues that arise within a relationship. The model we provide as parents defines the template after which our sons will begin their own lives.
• Both sons and daughters learn about commitment and the value of marriage. How we handle conflict and difficulty teaches the value of patience and the true value placed on marriage. This is an extremely valuable lesson. Teaching our children to follow through on the commitment of marriage and demonstrating the personal values we hold regarding marriage provide strong influence on our children. I firmly believe our commitments toward our own marriages will potentially save marriages for future generations.

The reverse of these lessons are equally true. If we provide poor leadership and bad examples of love and commitment, we risk the potential futures of our children. Fathers, the greatest gift you can give your kids is to love your wife. Stand by her, defend her, and rely on her. This simple (not always simple) act is the single greatest thing you can do to teach your children about relationships. No advice you ever speak aloud will ever have as much impact.

I am very grateful that my father was a man who loved his wife. He was a man who truly cared about his kids. He was by no means perfect and nether am I. He was a man though, who knew he was not perfect, but stood by his family and his commitment in marriage.

On this Fathers' Day, I reflect back on lessons learned as a son. Lessons my father taught me without trying to teach them. Lessons I learned through a lifetime of observation. I learned it is okay to love my wife and kids. It is okay to argue. It is better to make up. I learned that arguing does not mean there is no love. I learned that marriage is a commitment and it involves work. I learned that the work required is worth it.

While my wife and kids honor me today, I am reflecting on my own childhood and wishing I could thank my father for teaching me to be the kind of father I am. On this day, I wish to share the blessings my own children have given me with their grandfather. The knowledge that i am raising two Godly men is the best gift I could have ever given him. Certainly better than any tie, cologne or card he ever received from us when he was with us.

Thanks Dad... Lessons learned... Rest easy... I'm passing them on.

Owning the Customer’s Experience

Often in business, we encounter things over which we have no real control. Customs delays, and back-orders are just two examples of items which the front-line service provided cannot control. The key to mitigating these uncontrollable items is to take full control of the things you can control. Chief among these is the customer experience with you.

Get nearly any group of customers together to talk about the sales representatives or Customer service reps and the topic of personal responsibility comes up. “These kids just don’t take responsibility for their actions.” “They always have an excuse.” Some of these complaints are from people romanticizing their own personal memories. Some however, are based on first hand experiences dealing with a service provider. Either way, this is the perception of the customer and we all know, “Perception is reality.”

So what does responsibility look like? It looks a little different to each of us but I believe there are some common traits most of us share. Just a few might include;

• Punctuality
• Honesty
• Respect
• Humility

I have a personal favorite as well.

A Sense of Ownership

I define this as a person taking complete responsibility for the work they do. A sense that they are solely responsible for their work.

This sense of ownership encompasses many items from the previous list. Ownership of your own performance is a trait that only comes with maturity and a sense of responsibility. Unfortunately, it is also a very rare trait in modern business.
Ownership is not blaming a delay on the shipper. It may very well be that the shipper has delayed an order. Ownership means checking the status with the shipper and notifying the client of the potential delay. (BEFORE the customer calls looking for their delivery.) Customers are generally reasonable people who appreciate communication. They will certainly be more likely to speak highly of a rep who “checked in with the status of their order” instead of allowing a problem to arise. This demonstrates respect and honesty.
Ownership means admitting you do not know something and working diligently to find out for the customer. Your clients know you are a human. They also know when bluffed, snowed, side-stepped or been the recipient of a lie. There is no shame in saying, “I don’t know but I will certainly try to find out for you.” This is better than bluffing your way through and the customer learning later that you have lied to them. Not much will ruin your reputation faster than this. It is the immature sales rep who tries to convince the customer he knows it all. It is the professional, who has a sense of ownership, who admits a knowledge gap and seeks to fill it. This demonstrates humility, honesty, and respect.
Ownership of your work takes a little effort. You have to find the answers instead of bluffing your client. You have to humble yourself to admit a knowledge gap. You have to take a few minutes each day to check in on customer requests. These few things cost very little but the ROI can be huge. Building a reputation as a dependable, honest, humble, and respectful professional is likely the best investment in your business you can ever make.
You cannot control everything that happens in business. You can control how you handle the things business throws your way. Control the controllable and how you handle the uncontrollable. Doing so, you have far more control over the eventual outcome.

Here are some action steps to try.

• Check on the status of your customers. Then notify them of their status. This ongoing engagement will help build rapport and avoid potential problems before they happen.

• Admit you do not know everything. This single step will pay you back huge dividends. You will learn and improve your own understanding of your products and services. You will build rapport with your customers by learning with them and being honest. You will build a reputation as a professional who is honest and humble.

• Show the customer they are your priority. This means turning off your ringer during meetings. It means being on time for appointments. It means taking a moment to check on their status. (Even after the sale.)

• Make customers. Not sales. Take the relationship beyond the transactional and transform it into relational. Once that happens, you have a customer for life. I know I would much prefer to sell to a customer repeatedly than to sell them once. ...

Wouldn’t you?

Looking for Work?

Last week, I began posting little, "tips" about interviewing and job-hunting. I have been on a major recruiting push in anticipation of the back-to-school season. I started a small series posting real fixes for the problems I encountered with my candidates.

• Job Tip: When an interviewer schedules part of their day to interview you, SHOW UP!
• Job Tip: Business casual is NOT flip-flops and a tank-top.
• Job Tip: If you put your sister's phone as your primary phone number on the application, she might get your interview.
• Job Tip: Your recruiter may not like being greeted by, "Big Pimpin'" while waiting for your carrier to, "locate the person I am calling."

I got quite a few humorous responses and a couple of inquiries about the sorts of positions I was looking to fill. Something occurred to me however, as I reviewed this section of my pages. The inquiries I got regarding work, were for friends of friends.

"I know so-and-so is looking, what kind of positions are you filling?"

I had only one primary contact who asked me directly for consideration. That one friend had been out of work for seven (7) months, and I was not even aware they were looking. Why?

He had been "updating" daily.I knew his kids were having a great year in soccer. I knew where he had lunch last Tuesday. I did not know he was out of work. Why? After I talked to him for a while about his needs and my positions, I too a second to ask him why.

"It's kind of embarrassing. I just didn't think that was the place to talk about it. You know, I'm not close enough a friend with most of my "friends" to burden them or ask for their help."

I had to point out that we all knew his latest cholesterol levels. His youngest daughters had FINALLY been potty trained, and his wife was awesome. I had to wonder why he didn't feel we would like to know he was needing a little help on the job front. We knew as much as most people know about their "best friends" but he didn't feel safe sharing this one important part.

How many people are out there sharing their lives but holding back from a group of people who may be able to help? Is there some unspoken code that one shall not share their employment status with their friends list? Linkedin is an obvious place where people are "expected" to link on a business level. Are Facebook or Myspace exempt from this activity?

I say NO!

As I write this article, I have 378 friends on Facebook. I administer an alumni board that has 1630 members. I consider each one of these people a potential resource. They may only be able to provide a bit of humor or moral support when I am down. Some may have potential work for me. Still others, may know my next boss and be able to introduce me to them. I do not believe this violates any code of friendship for these sites. I believe it is actually, in line with the true purpose of the networks.

The axiom, "it's not what you know, it's WHO you know." is very true. Social media is a huge resource on the "who you know" side of that equation. You know hundreds of people who in turn know hundreds more. "Six degrees of separation" is the rule of the day on these sites. He knows a guy in that field. His contact know a guy who is in HR. They know the hiring manager with the very firm you are seeking to join.

And so on
and so on
and so on...

I know, for a fact, that I would certainly announce my change in employment status to my network if it were to change. I would routinely post updates on the hunt. I would seek out those within my field to see if they knew any one or had anything. These are my friends after all. (At least to some extent.)

I too know that I would seek to give business to those within my network who provide services I may be needing. I have a couple of photographers in my friends list. You can bet that one of them will be doing the portraits for my book cover. My friends in advertising will be consulted regarding my marketing campaign for said book. If anyone in my list is in printing, I may have them help with my brochures or fliers. My contacts are a valuable resource in working both sides of the friendship equation.

I look forward to welcoming my friend to the training room in weeks to come. I am glad we reconnected and that I was able to find a place for him. (He is more than qualified by-the-way.) I know that he has changed his view of how social media can help him. He will certainly be posting his job status soon. I hope he does not have to post any changes to that status again any time soon.

(I hope I don't either.)

David Fields Has worked in customer relations and sales since 1987. He is dynamic supervisor, recruiter, trainer, and coach for a major retailer. He speaks passionately about associate engagement, customer service, and human nature. He welcomes inquiries regarding training, speaking, and coaching in these areas.

Devices of Distraction

Time is the only thing we have that we can't make more of. Money can be earned. Food can be grown. Time, on the other hand, is gone forever once it is spent. Since time is so Precious, one might expect us to be more judicious with it's use. My problem is this. The more I try to manage my time, the more time seems to slip away. Many such time slips occur while using my organizational strategies, skills, and tricks. In fact, the more technical the system, the more It seems to fail for me. I recently took an online test to determine how my ADD effects my life. This test was designed to help provide a "personalized" list of tips, strategies, and techniques to help keep me on-task and distraction-free. Once the test was complete, I received my personalized plan of action. With these nine pages grasped firmly in my nail-bitten hand, I set out to reinvent my life and live efficiently and productively. Or so I thought. Suggestions from the plan: This comes from a great site on ADHD resources. My resonces are interspersed throughout in color.

Develop structure and neat habits—and keep them up.

Hmmm. Structure. Sounds good. ... Keep it up??? Whoa. is that possible?

• Create space. Ask yourself what you need on a daily basis, and find storage bins or closets for things you don’t. Designate specific areas for things like keys, bills, and other items that can be easily misplaced. Throw things away that you do not need.
  

Great idea. Can I have some space please? But i might need it later. I have a place for my keys, I just never keep my keys there.

• Use lists. Make use of lists and notes to yourself, which are useful in keeping track of regularly scheduled tasks, projects, deadlines, and appointments. If you decide to use a daily planner, keep all lists and notes inside it.
  

This I have done. I have pre-printed lists for regular (weekly, daily, monthly) tasks. It works when I can keep up with them. I find it difficult to keep to the list though. Or... I spent too much time working on the list itself than the tasks outlined thereon. Now I can't find my day planner. :(

• Deal with it now. You can avoid forgetfulness, clutter, and procrastination by filing papers, cleaning up messes, or returning phone calls as they come in, not sometime in the future.

Probably the best advice I could get. Now for the application of said advice. Once I get distracted (bored) all bets are off. I intend to make the call or answer the mail... I just... forget.

Tame your paper trail

If you have adult ADD / ADHD, a major part of your disorganization might be with paperwork—in endless piles or even strewn across your kitchen, desk, or office. If you take some time to set up a paperwork system that works for you, you can streamline handling the paperwork in your life. Designate an afternoon to get yourself set up for success.

Key words in the above are ," that works for you." I have set up countless systems, but I can never seem to stick with them. I get distracted, bored, overwhelmed, etc.

• Set up a filing system. Use dividers or separate file folders for different types of documents (such as medical records, receipts, and income statements). Label and color-code your files so that you can find what you need quickly.

Again, great advice that will work if worked. I have yet to make it work for me..

• Deal with mail on a daily basis. Set aside a few minutes each day to deal with the mail. Either trash it, file it, or act on it.

This goes along with the phone calls spoken of above. Setting aside time with so much going on and so many distractions is certainly easier said than done. It is not that time is not there. It is a matter of "finding" the time. (MAKING TIME is a better term here.)

Understand time

Adults with attention deficit disorder often have a different perception of how time passes. In order to align your sense of time with that of your friends, office mates and family, use the oldest trick in the book: a clock.

• Become a clock-watcher. Use a wristwatch, timer, alarm, PDA or computer—anything that keeps accurate time and is within your sight at all times. When you start a task, say the time out loud or write it down. Allot yourself limited amounts of time for each task.

And when the task is not complete within the allotted time????

• Create a daily ten-minute routine. Attend to filing documents, processing daily mail, paying bills, and other mundane tasks on a daily basis for the same amount of time, and preferably in the same order. If you have a regular process to follow, you can be sure you aren’t missing something important. If you have only ten minutes, you will know when to stop.

Again, do I stop when the time is up or the job is done? I do see the value in this for email handling. It reduces the likelihood of, "browsing the stacks." (The tendancy I have to let myself drift to other related topics or tasks.)

• Give yourself more time than you think you need. For every thirty minutes of time you think it will take you to get someplace or complete a task, add ten minutes.

Does this apply to my "daily ten minute routine?" I recognize this when I am pulling reports for something. I always take longer than I anticipated. I guess if I lower the bar, I won't disappoint myself as much eh?

• Plan to be early and set up reminders to leave. Write down appointments for fifteen minutes earlier than they really are. Set up reminders on your computer or on paper to get yourself out the door on time.

I fortunately, don't have this problem. I am generally on time. I may take longer once I am there, but I arrive on time.

Decide what’s first

Because adults with ADD/ADHD often struggle with impulse control and jump from one subject to another, completing tasks can be difficult. Big projects also might seem tough to tackle because of all the small steps needed to get to the end result. You can overcome feeling overwhelmed by organizing what you need to do before diving in.

• Prioritize. Ask yourself what is the most important task you need to accomplish, and then order your other tasks after that one.

How do I figure out what is most important or first?

• Take things one at a time. Break down large, seemingly overwhelming projects or tasks into smaller, manageable steps.

Eat the cow a bite at a time. I understand this. It just seems "more efficient" to take bigger chunks or combine steps. Even though I know this is not the best practice.

Learn to say no

Impulsiveness can lead adults with ADD/ADHD to saying yes to too many things, whether it be agreeing to too many projects at work or making too many social engagements. But a jam-packed schedule and too many tasks can lead to you feeling overwhelmed, overtired, and behind. When you spread yourself too thin, the quality of your work suffers and you end up not finishing things you began. Turning things down will help you improve your ability to accomplish tasks, keep social dates, and live a healthier lifestyle. Check your schedule first before committing to something new.

Very true. It is the odd irony that those who are busiest are the ones looked to to do even more.

Make a plan and keep it: manage your ADD / ADHD with a daily planner

One method of improving time management is using a day planner. Effective use of a planner can assist help you manage time, remember responsibilities, and remain organized. You may have tried a day planner in the past and had unsuccessful experiences, but this may be because you haven’t gone about it in the most effective way. Learning to use a planner is just like learning to use any tool—practice makes perfect.

I just keep loosing mine.

So, this is just a part of my "personalized" tips. They read nearly word for word like the general tips found on countless sites dedicated to ADHA. I have no doubt the systems and tips outlined are quite useful for the population at large. I have seen in my own life, how many can help me be better organized. I have made some observations, however.

Be careful not to let the cure become the sickness.

Don't become so distracted by the list, PDA, or filing system that you become distracted by the system. Spending too much time "running the system" can steal time and productivity.

Be careful not to let the structure pin you down.

Much of what makes these systems work is the structure they provide. This structure provides a framework for getting routine tasks done. The challenge comes when the non-routine occurs. Maintaining the flexibility to deal with the out-of-the-ordinary is key in many jobs.

The true show of your mastery of these techniques is in the ability to handle the unusual and return to the system once things settle down. Returning to "business-as-usual is the key to coping with distractions.

Don't let your tools of success become devices of distraction.

Computers, cell-phones, PDAs are all wonderful devices. The can provide schedule-keeping, to-do lists, and communications. The danger to the person with ADHD is the potential for distraction. An email arrives and you find yourself cruising the web. You check you appointments and find yourself working in your contacts list to "organize" them. Limit the use of these devices to their intended purposes. Answer the text and put the phone down. Check your email and close the web browser. Check the appointment and put the PDA back on your belt.

For some, this sounds like common sense. To the ADD adult, it sounds a bit like asking a toddler to turn off the TV when his favorite cartoon is starting. For some it means turning off certain notifications to the phone. For me it means limiting the number of feeds I have sent to my phone. I turned off the web service to my phone so I could not waste time in the rabbit warren of the web. (and to save money)

Life is full of challenges. If we approach it with discipline and a sense of humor we can overcome many of those challenges. Work habits are just that. Habits. You must develop them over time. You may have to break old habits and replace them with new ones. We must remember to keep from being frustrated when we fail. It takes time to break and build habits. just pick up the pieces and carry on. oh yea... remember to ... PAY ATTENTION! ;)

There is simply no candy, gift, flower, or card that can possibly express the respect, love, and admiration I have for all the mothers in my life.

Writer's Block

Several months back I found some old papers written back in my high school and college days. As I leaved through these archived memories, I found bits of myself I wish I could recapture.

There have been times in my life when writing was a passion. Times when catharsis could only be gained through the written expression of emotions too intense to verbalize audibly. At these times, the paper seemed the only one who "understood" me. The constant companion who would hear me out without judgment or interruption. Never too busy to bear my rantings. A dedicated, loyal confidant.

There have been longer periods when I could sit before a blank page unable to place pent to paper. Times when I desperately needed to express my inner self but could not. These times frustrate me.

I am a prolific talker. I will generally talk to anyone who will listen. (I know this comes a a surprise to my friends, family, and coworkers.) When others are no available to listen, I spend time talking to myself. (I even answer.) Being unable to communicate in any form is an extremely frustrating thing.

I digress... (As I often do.)


I spent some time reading through these old pages reliving moments all but forgotten. Some were assigned papers dryly written to transmit information to an academic critic. Others were personal. Pubescent pleas to my inner self for guidance through a nonexistent love life. Internal dialogue externalized. Some sad, others jubilant. The emotional roller coaster that is adolescence.

Paging through this literary scrapbook helps keep me in touch with my younger self. It puts into perspective the problems I may encounter as a rapidly-aging adult. It also helps me to regain some of the perspective I had at the times these thing were first recorded. As the father of an adolescent boy, it helps me reconnect with that hormone infused, hyper-emotional state of life. Looking back at the urgency with which my earlier rantings were written, I can see now how fleeting even the most intense times pass and be tempered with time.

My eldest son is 15. He has taken an interest in poetry and music of late. (As most of his peers have.) He has shared some of his writings with me lately. An honor I do not take lightly. Sharing ones inner feelings with another is no easy task. Doing so with a parent is monumental and I am blessed that he trusts me enough to share - at least some- his work. I read his words and can all but relive those same emotions from 20 plus years ago. The pain of unrequited love. The transition from one emotion to another. Shifting emotional gears with more speed than a NASCAR driver.

I read these things and a twinge of jealousy strikes me. Not the sort of jealousy one might think. I do not long to regain my youth. I would not return to that turmoil for any amount of money. I would love however, to regain the expressiveness. That ability to release my full emotional load onto the page. Trusting the page to take the abuse. Trusting it to keep your secrets.

Where do our emotions go as we age? Where can the catharsis come from when we are not able to put pen to page or fingers to keys? I wish I knew. I wrote tons. I felt more. I still feel, but the intensity is lost. The passion for the page, the romance seems more distant.

I am not sure the need to write has been diminished. The time is shorter. certainly the fluidity with which the words came has slowed. I was a professional writer, but I quit. I am now an amateur.

Perhaps the answer is in the discipline. I once wrote full-time out of a sense of urgency in expression of emotion. I wrote daily for school. I wrote daily for myself. I never kept a journal or diary. Those were too formal. I lacked the discipline.

I shall embark on a personal challenge. I will try to write something each day for the next two weeks. Some of these writings will eventually find there way here. Some (likely most) will be so pedestrian they will find their way to the dust bin. But I will try to write something daily. No page limits. No word-counts. Just find something inside that should be brought out and shared. Even if with just a piece of paper.

I will not endeavor to take on a forty-day writing / blogging blitz. My friend Angie Moncada attempted this on as her personal Lenten challenge this year. She came up with some great insights. She will also admit to the monumental challenge that committing to forty days of blogging poses. I am certainly not so eloquent as she. She is a professional. She didn't quit. I will however attempt to regain just a little of my love for writing. In so doing, I hope to recapture some of my youthful expressiveness. So Stay tuned... It might just get interesting.... at least to me.

A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit. Richard Bach

More thinking out loud

I got a response to the previous thread that got me thinking. This is a copy / paste from my response to his comment. (He responded privately so I will honor that by keeping his end private.)

>>>>>>>>HERE WE GO

20 years ago, I figured I would be teaching in some high school somewhere directing school plays and probably doing summer mission trips with some youth group.

I got to college, decided I didn't want to teach. (in a conventional classroom) I accepted a promotion that all but made continuing school impossible at the time. (Internet courses were just in the beginning stages.) Took another promotion, got married, adopted one kid and had another. Quit a job, took one for FAR less money so I could be with my kids more. Took another job that moved me back to Atlanta. I still make less than I did 12 years ago, but I am home more with the kids.

All are choices I made. All had consequences. Some were good choices, some were bad ones. But I know God is in control.

I do teach Sunday school in a rotation with a few other since I have to work some Sundays. I train new employees which is teaching. I am in management, but they send be home at 40 hours.

I read something the other day on a bracelet that made me stop and think.

"Dreams become reality one choice at a time."

That is true, but you have to make the right choices.

Thinking out loud

First of all... A lot has been going on recently. This stream-of-conscience came out of a screen-sitting session. I sit in front of a screen and sort of free type whatever comes to mind. It is presented here with very little editing. So here we go.

......

Even the tree reaches for the sun

The simplest of creatures moves about in order to survive and further it’s existence.

Only human beings will settle in to apathy and allow themselves to be tossed about by the environment about them. A sick inertia that rots the very soul of a man. “Failure to plan is planning to fail” (Ben Franklin) But if you set out to fail and do so, have you really succeeded? Or have you merely failed yourself to the utmost? Have you failed your destiny and potential by knowingly, willingly choosing to not succeed?

How sad is the man who merely exists? “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.” (William Wallace) What is this “living” of which the author speaks? Where is this "marrow" we are to "suck out of life?" (Walt Whitman) All I taste is the bitter gall of regret and despair.

We must never allow ourselves to become too comfortable with our station. We are to find “joy” in everything true, but not necessarily peace. We should strive for better. We must constantly expect better of ourselves.

For what purpose were you born? Was it to serve God? If so, how well are you serving if you are living an apathetic, lazy, complacent existence? How much greater does He expect your life to be? Is this the “full” life of which our savior spoke? (John 10:10)  He died for us, are we living for Him?

Where do we find our motivation? How do we begin to care? where is the care? They say we should “find our passions” but what do I do it I just don’t give a damn?

Long ago, I turned off the caring. I simply decided to “let it slide.” It was a survival tactic. I hid from it all and merely hoped to not be noticed. I wished to be invisible to hide from my own weaknesses and get away with doing as little as possible.

What is the price for that apathy. Will my folly catch up with me and be visited on my generations.

I am further away from God than I want, but it was I who moved. I may not have intentionally moved myself, but in my aimless drifting, I traveled far from His purpose for me. I know He is there. I know He can be located. Can I turn on the GPS and follow “God’s Positioning System” to find my way “home?” Like the prodigal son, I wrestle with the decision to return home to my Father to merely eat His scraps. Scraps are certainly more than I deserve for my arrogance and apathy.

I know I have talents. I may not know what they are any more or how to use them to His purpose, but I do know I have talents still. Who am I? What am I here for? Where am I supposed to be? How do I get there? Who is in place to help bring me along? Where do I go from here.

Like so many philosophers before me, I ask the questions, but I am not sure I really want answers. Not because I don’t want to know. I just like the process of asking the questions. I like the searching. I may not like the answers I receive. If I find the answers, then what? will there be more questions to pose?