Ever want to be invisible?

Invisibility

A discussion with any adolescent boy about superheroes and powers will invariably include the power of invisibility. Along with super strength, speed, and intelligence, invisibility ranks high on the list of coveted powers. What seldom comes up is the curse that comes with the power of invisibility.

Ask somebody what they would / could do if they were invisible. Ask yourself what you might do. Your answers will likely be similar to everyone else. You might say something about sneaking into a locker room. They might answer with aspirations of being able to sneak in and steal from a bank. They might mention eavesdropping on coworkers or supervisors to find out what people “really” think of them. All answers generally involve gaining access to locations, materials, or information you night otherwise not have.

All right David, where are you going with this? We have discussed associate engagement, and pet peeves. Now we are on to superheroes and their powers? What gives? Hear me our, I think I might have stumbled on something that speaks to engagement in here. While invisibility might sound like a cool power, it comes at a very high price. Those who have that power too, reveal much about themselves with its use.

I will first speak about invisibility and engagement. When a person walk into a business, they do not want to be invisible. Aside from the visual impression they have upon their entry, customers appreciate attention and acknowledgement. Employees feel unimportant and ignored if they are not spoken to or acknowledged by coworkers, supervisors, and customers. In these situations, being invisible is not a desirable thing. If you are invisible, you are not engaged. I will also say that you are likely not engaging if you are invisible as well.

Customers and employees alike when left to feel invisible are less than satisfied with their circumstances. Customers will either look around for someone to notice them or simply leave. Attention only after they have approached the service agent does little to minimize or make up for the feeling of isolation caused by invisibility. Speak to anyone who deals with the public about pet peeves and at some point they will rail about people who fail to return a simple salutation. When a simple “hello” or “good afternoon” receives no acknowledgment, it instantly puts the service worker on edge. They will attempt to connect in another way. If slighted again, they will likely disengage and seek easier, more receptive customers. Some customers who want to be left alone understand this and use it as a tactic against aggressive salespeople.

The scenarios mentioned above demonstrate how important it is to acknowledge other people. Companies need to foster an environment that builds on this basic step to engagement. Supervisors need to acknowledge, recognize, and simply greet employees. Service agents need to strive to make this most basic step with each person they encounter. Coworkers must recognize one another and engage one another if the workplace is to become one where people want to work. All this points to the power of making you and others visible. What does this have to do with invisibility?

“The best security is good customer service.” This is the mantra of the retail loss prevention agent. Retailers know that good customer service intimidates criminals and makes them nervous. They understand that an engaged staff makes a huge difference in shrinkage. Why? That is the central question. Simply put, Criminals like being invisible. People who want to steal will use an unengaged employee to “hide” and go about their work of stealing from a store. These people use their power of invisibility for evil. Some otherwise hones (if opportunistic) customers will act out and steal if left alone to feel invisible. Some of these criminals will be the people who ignore an otherwise engaging employee.

While there are enticing aspects to being invisible, we often fail to explore the price that comes with it. Human beings are social beings. Isolation is not the normal state in which we exist. Being invisible isolates us. It separates us from our species and leads to aberrant behaviors. This is why the criminal embraces invisibility and uses it as a tool to aid in their crimes. This is also why engagement in the workplace is so important.

Associates who feel isolated and invisible are in danger of becoming snared by this curse. Left to their own devices and feeling isolated, employees will attempt to get noticed. They will start by coming late. Next, they might advance to dress code violations. These activities are attempts to garner attention. To these individuals, any attention is better than being unnoticed. Even if the attention is negative. It is not necessarily a conscious effort on their part. It is a symptom or side effect of the isolation that comes with being invisible to their coworkers and supervisors. It is a result of their not being engaged at work.

Management and supervisory staff need to pay attention to this and look for these signs of isolation. They need to address these issues quickly and look for the cause of these isolated feelings. Acknowledge the good aspects of an associate’s behavior. Recognize and address those activities that are symptomatic of an employee’s lack of engagement. If these things remain undone, employees will escalate their self-destructive behaviors in ways that could lead to far more serious infractions. These employees are often the ones who are found engaged in illegal activities. These are the associates who find themselves unemployed or worse because of their cries for attention. Make efforts to make every member of your team feel important. Let them know that each role, no matter how seemingly small or insignificant, is crucial to the success of your business.

Invisibility poses some interesting possibilities. In the light of the potential pitfalls however, invisibility may prove more a curse than blessing. People often strive to build a reputation within their chosen line of work. They seek to have a reputation for being honest, punctual, and reliable. They may seek to have a good reputation for being an expert within their field. Many make the mistake of equating reputation to character. This trap is the basis for the problems posed by invisibility. Reputation is how others view you. Determined by what people observe. Defined only by being visible. Character however, is whom you are when no one is looking. Character is by definition being invisible. When no one is looking. When no one is paying attention. When you feel like you are invisible, what do you do? How do you act? Character is who you really are. Reputation is who you want people to believe you to be.

Obviously, the best practice is for our employees and customers alike to feel that they are important. We want these people engaged in our business. If this occurs, character and reputation will likely never be at odds. Opportunity for the generally honest person to seek recognition will not present itself. These honest people will not even think about the possibility of nefarious activity. They will never know what potential capacity for negative activities they may possess. This is a good thing. It is when good people are allowed to discover the potential darkness they have within, that they fail themselves. Not only do they fail themselves; they exemplify the failure of the circumstances in which they find themselves.

If you actions when you believe you are alone are at parity with your actions when in public, you exemplify you character. Your reputation and you character are not at odds. We must always act as if we someone were watching us. This has never been truer than in the modern, technological era. Cameras in public places, camera phones, and web-based cameras all make it possible for others to surreptitiously in circumstances far more often than before. The illusion of invisibility is a trap. Even if not being actively engaged, someone is likely watching. These times of perceived invisibility are the true test of your character. The way you handle such situations determines your true character and reveals it to those who determine you reputation simultaneously.

If a person wishes to be invisible, it is not necessarily because they harbor criminal intentions. There are reasons and times when the noblest individuals wish to remain unnoticed. If one receives continued, negative attention, they will likely seek the refuge afforded by invisibility. If they are in an environment where they feel they do not belong, they too may seek to enrobe themselves with a cloak of invisibility. As mentioned before, persons who wish to be left alone in an excessively aggressive sales environment will seek to remain unnoticed. In these instances, invisibility is perhaps a desirable tool. The wish to become invisible here is then a symptom of bad circumstances. Do not assume the person seeking to remain unnoticed is either criminal or ignored. Check the environment to be sure that the person is not hiding from some external unwanted pressure.
As in most things relating to the human condition, we are variable. No single formula will ever be able to answer the human equation. Balance is the key. If we can balance the equation, we will generally succeed in making a majority of the people we encounter happy. Engage everyone you encounter. Do so in a positive and easy manner. Do not smother, abuse, or otherwise place the other person under undue stress. Acknowledge and recognize others. Be available. Let them know they are not invisible. Do not give them a chance to explore their darker nature. Let them show them a reputation they deserve. Allow the better parts of their character to shine.

Be visible, and look for the invisible and welcome them to humanity. Bring them out of the isolation that has the potential to corrupt. Allow your employees, coworkers, and customers to be the best they can be by seeing them for who they are. Where they are.

Nostalgia and the social networking sight

I recently made contact with an old friend via Facebook. After a few months of following one another in the news stream, I initiated a conversation via private message. We exchanged plesantries, caught up on families and jobs. Basically we reconnected after nearly 20 years of absence. One morning, after a particularly well written and touching email, I read a status update from her that got me to thinking. “How is it that a social networking technology like FaceBook can have me feeling so nostalgic?” My instant response was to say,” Its all about connections.” And I of course comment as much. I may have oversimplified things, but I believe I struck the root of her sentiment.

For decades, nay centuries, mankind has been limited in the ability to maintain communications by geography. We were able to keep in touch only with those with whom we could make direct contact. Long distance communications systems eventually came into play and allowed us to reach beyond our immediate region and maintain contact with those who were more distant. Courier and mail systems came first, and made it possible to send messages across vast distances. Telegraph and telephone came next. Eventually these made it possible to connect and speak (in real time) to those who were distant. Like never before, the world became a smaller place. It was then possible to maintain contact with old friends, colleagues, and family wherever they were in the world, thus preserving relationships that would have otherwise dwindled.
Voice over IP and Skype video conferencing have brought families who had been long separated back into each other’s living rooms. Social networking sites like FaceBook and Twitter allow us to “keep tabs” on and “catch up with” people we might otherwise have gone months if not years without even knowing their whereabouts. Relationships that might otherwise have fallen away and withered are kept fresh by the ability to “follow” the news stream of updates. People keep connected by repeatedly answering simple questions like, “What’s on our mind?” and, “What are you doing?” Real-time video and voice communications allow long forgotten friendships to once again spark to life. Past loves can reconnect. Former rivals can bridge time and distance to make amends for past grievances.

Nostalgia? Like looking through old photo albums, facebook allows us to look back a bit. We get in touch with a person after decades of absence, and we are immediately back in touch with a past emotional state. We may have moved on. We may live on opposite sides of the world and have divergent careers We may have families of our own but we are connected through a series of random thoughts, observations, and shared histories. There is a collective history shared and that keeps us a little closer than we might have been. How is it we allow this to happen? I think there are a few reasons why we let this cold, technical, impersonal collection of silicone and wire touch us in such a real and profound way.

Relative safety: From the safety of my own home, I can search for an old friend and send out a friend request. If they accept my request and I am not secure in our friendship, I can lurk. I can check out their profile, pictures, and current friends list. I can basically do the work of catching up without having to do much more than click a few buttons. I can deflect some of the shame of having lost touch a little by doing a little research to quickly bring myself “up to speed.” I can lurk a while and watch. I can read their posts and silently eavesdrop a bit on their page. Then, once I feel comfortable, and I have done my homework, I can initiate a little deeper contact. I might start by commenting on a few status updates. I might invite them to take a quiz or survey or add them to my birthday calendar. I might just send them a personal message. If I am really comfortable, I might even pop open a chat box and strike up a quickie conversation.
I can do all of these things from the safety of my own little room. No one can see me lurking. No one knows I am nervous or even a little ashamed that I have been such a poor friend that I didn’t even know they had moved from Atlanta to Hartford, to Dallas. I didn’t know they had kids. I have been so far removed that I had no idea where they even went to school and what line of work they found. But if I do my homework I can fake it. I can read their self-prepared dossier and have a quickie summary of the past decades in order to build a little conversation. I can do all this from the safety of my terminal. …Safety.
Real time responsiveness: Long ago, a person might write a note to their brother and send it off by post. Weeks or even months later, the note arrive and said brother could read and feel a little closer to his sibling for a moment. He might write a note back and respond. His letter would likewise arrive in just a few more days. The cycle could continue add infinitum. Not so anymore. Now, if my brother sends me a message, I will have it delivered to my phone and can read it as I exit church. My response to him could be on his phone within seconds of my receipt of his initial contact. Immediate, responsiveness makes one feel connected. The act of interacting in real time helps personalize things. It exemplifies the closeness of the relationship. Or at least that is the perception, and perception is reality to the one doing the perceiving.
The over share: A quick review of my daily new stream shows me things as diverse as daily prayer updates to infant potty habits. There is a strange tendency to share intimate details through these sites that might otherwise have been filtered out through slower means of communication. In order to communicate in an efficient manner whine writing traditional letters, one tended to stick to details that were important and less mundane.
In an effort to have something fresh, we truly answer the question, “What’s on your mind?” We often answer this question without engaging our mental firewall. This happens often to the detriment of our privacy. This glimpse into the more private details of a person’s life may give one the feeling of a closer relationship than actually exists. Now that I know that your teen is moody and has bad grades, I somehow know you. Does that make me your friend or a person who has eavesdropped on a conversation you had too loudly at the coffee shop with you real friends? If I were to “comment” on something you said out loud in a coffee shop to a personal friend, I might be considered rude. (You might consider it rude even if I did know you from primary school.) If intimate knowledge equates to friendship, I am better friends with kids from high school now that I was during school.

So, we are nostalgic when we make contact with old friends. We should be nostalgic. It is a truly unique time we live in. We can just type in an old friend’s name and locate them wherever live has taken them. It’s cool to have an old school mate friend request you. Reminiscing about old times and posting pictures of the way we were is all well and fine. Remember though who our real friends are. Ask yourself these questions. “Who on my friends list could I call in a pinch?” “If I needed a person to come pick me up or watch my kids for the night, who could I call from my friends list or my followers?”

Of the literally hundreds of friends you might have on your friends lists, you will likely have only a precious few who you could call friends in the real world. Nurture these. Remember who they are. Remember who you can count on. Remind yourself of who you would be willing to jump out of bed and run across the country for at a moment’s notice. Never mistake the false intimacy that these social networking sites provide for true intimate friendships.
This does not mean that you can not develop or even rekindle true, lasting, deeply intimate friendships online. It does mean that we should not make the mistake of believing that the 200 people who have you on their friend lists are our close personal friends. True friendships take work. Simply commenting on a person’s link or post is nice, but it can be no substitute for the connection one can gain from deep, personal time together.
Absolutely reconnect. Renew old friendships. Touch base with you classmates. Remember the old days. But live in the now. I truly have affection for my friends on the net, but there are a small few who I might call if things got really rough. Perhaps I am alone in this. I doubt it though. I am working on renewing some old friendships. I have had lunch with people I had not seen in over a decade. I am exchanging email with some old friends. I plan on attending reunions in the near future to renew the personal connection that the net simply cannot provide. I wish I could say that everyone on my friends list is a true friend. I enjoy following their lives. I have learned a great deal about people with whom I was really only an acquaintance before. Some of them are becoming actual friends. That is what makes it fun.

I'll take an average kid with a side of mediocrity.

I had the privilege this morning to go on a walk with my teenage son. We got up early and took a little walk before starting the rest of our day.

As we walked, we had a chance to talk and think through some things that I decided to share here.

First, I want to say that I think I am a fairly decent parent. I love my kids. I try not to over-burden them with too may of life's problems. I do not however try to shelter them from the realities of the world. I have two sons who are healthy and intelligent. I am proud of the way they are both growing and am confident that they are growing to become Godly young men.

So Josh and I were walking this morning and talking a little about a lot. We talked politics, religion, culture, art, social anthropology, you name it. (I love that my boy is smart enough to have these conversations.) We talked about drama, and history. We talked about education in general. We just generally enjoyed spending time together.

As we walked and talked, the topic came to age and cultural norms. Josh asked a question about when states began requiring specific ages for kids to drive and things just sort of rolled from there. (anyone who knows me will attest that I can make strange connections between topics.) So the conversation sort of transitioned through several inter-related topics about society and age. I have been thinking on some of these things ever since.

1.) Why is it that we as a culture view those societies that still have teens in positions of personal responsibility as barbaric?

This question speaks about the way Americans often view cultures that consider young teens adults. Cultures that would have a 16 year old leading a hunting party heading a family. I concede that these are generally hunter / gatherer or farming societies. I submit that opportunities for higher education in these cultures are not widely available. These factors do not negate the fact that these youth are filling roles within their communities that are reserved for "grown adults" in the "civilized" world.

Are the youth there any more mature? Are American youth any less so?

Do we handicap our children by not allowing them to take on responsibilities beyond the schoolwork? Can our kids handle more than we ask of them? Are those other cultures expecting their youth to do too much? Are these kids being robbed of their "childhood?"

I do not claim to have answers to these questions that are absolute. I believe there is middle ground. Both sides have merit at points.

I remember the absolute turmoil that was adolescence. I recall with full detail the emotional / hormonal upheaval that made sound decision making a challenge. I ws of course raised in a typical western home. I had little expected of me beyond my school and chores. I knew nothing of the stress that made up the real world. I certainly remember feeling that too much was expected of me and that I had too much to worry about.

So how is it that kids across the globe can take on tasks and responsibilities that we in America would often reserve for those 18 and over? How is it that these kids can achieve these things. Are their bodies not going through the same hormonal / emotional storms that mine went through? What gives?

Well, I think the answer lies in management / parenting philosophy. The answers lie in the training and trust areas. I am certain you think I am nuts now. Allow me to explain.

Many managers are afraid to train their subordinates. They feel that if the employee becomes too independent that the manager will not be needed and will lose their job. This flawed logic is pervasive throughout the management world. Many parents likewise are fearful to teach their children because they need to be needed. Mommy doesn't want little Joey to grow up so fast.

Both sides of this philosophy are flawed. A parent's JOB is to raise children to become productive, independent, contributory members of society. In this the parent ensures the survival of the culture and society. The manager who wishes to advance would do well to train his replacement. He is best served demonstrating to his own manager that he has taught his staff to step up when he is promoted. Being the only person who can do something only means you will always do it. If you teach others to do the tasks you will be given new and more rewarding tasks.

I believe we as a society sometimes make this same mistake. We fail to teach our youth to fend for themselves. (interestingly by "educating" them." We fill our kids with book knowledge and fail to prepare them to fend for themselves so that we will always be needed.

Other cultures love their children and value the contributions their kids make. They teach the skills needed to survive. They expect their kids to produce. They expect them to make sure that others produce as well. In this way, a parent knows that society will carry on without them. They know that their children can take care of themselves and their parents should the need arise.

We debate whether to allow a teen to drive. We question the proper age to start working. We have no idea when our kids graduate from school it they can do anything to provide for themselves or us.

So who is right? I don't know. I certainly feel that education is essential. I believe we need to challenge our own ideas about what our kids are capable of. We need to raise the bar and expect achievement and personal responsibility. Kids need to be able to be kids. They do not need to have the worries of adulthood. They do need to have responsibility.

I want my boys to thrive. I want them to know, when they leave my home, that they have been prepared for life. I want to know that they will be able to provide for themselves and their community. I won't take an average kid with a side of mediocrity. I want exceptional kids with a side of excellence.

Stimulus?!?

Stimulus?

Okay, please explain to me how $34 every 2 weeks is going to stimulate the economy. $68 a month won't even cover a nice night out with the wife.

Okay, so a local business man makes some really bad business decisions. He gets a bit behind in his bills. He defaults and can't make his rent and goes out of business. Sad Day.

Car Company, bank, hedge fund, etc makes some really bad business decisions. He gets a bit behind in his bills.Government writes them a check so hey can throw a party and celebrate their ineptitude.

I simply don't get it. Now I will get an extra $400 spread over the year to help stimulate the economy and invigorate business. HMMM.

Why is it that it feels like the only thing being stimulated is my prostate? I am being told by my governmental leaders that this will help us recover from this severe economic downturn. ......How?

It they took the same money they have given to the companies and gave it to the citizens, we would turn things around in short order. If the population who make less than $200,000 received say $30,000, the entire face of America would change.

Debts would be paid off. which means banks would be solvent again. People could afford to buy new cars. Homes could be bought. In short... Lives would be changed.

By adopting the fair tax, the government would begin to recoup the initial expense as the economy grew.

Part of the problem with the last few stimulus packages have been the size of the checks. People were not impressed or motivated by such small amounts of money. Gas was $4. Mortgages were behind by far more than the checks could even touch.

The real issue however, will have to be change. People will have to make a fundamental change in how they view their money. They will have to begin looking seriously at living within their means. Nothing will fix the problem until we fix our approach.

Language and kid's shows.

I am writing this as a true stream of conscious piece. I am not formatting, or grammar checking. I am just writing to get it down. Hey! It's my Blog. Deal.

I have mentioned before that I am a lover of language. I believe it is important to be able to express myself clearly. I too believe it is important to teach our children to communicate well.

So for this pet peeve, I am going to openly attack some beloved friends of my children and my own past.

I have a three year old son. He simply loves to watch TV as most Young Americans do. Among his favorite shows a few are great. Some however, really push my buttons as a parent.Let me break this down as a list of shows I have issues with.

Sesame Street:

Alright, I know I just stepped on a few toes. (see Disclaimer.) Bear with me. I love the show at large. When we were kids, we learned to count with a lovable vampire. I learned to share, be kind, and read from Big Bird, Ernie, Oscar, and even Snuffy.

A few years back though a new character was introduced that changed things for me in a bad way. This little, adorable, red monster loves to sing and dance. He loved to talk to his pet fish. He also had a problem with personal pronouns. This little guy speaks incessantly in the third person. It is always, "Elmo loves you." It is never "I."

So whats the problem. I don't really know. It just hits my button. I just believe we should be teaching our kids to speak while we are teaching them to read and count. Just once, I wish i could hear Big Bird correct the little red fart and tell him that we use I, and My instead of using our name.

I never said these were all reasonable or anything, but they are after all my Pet Peeves.

Wonderpets and Loony Toons:

I am sure some of you who have no kids are going to have to Google one of these. I'll give you a brief overview just so you can make it through the blog.

Wonderpets is a strangely repetitive children's show which features 3 class room pets that travel the glove to rescue animals in trouble. Same tune each episode with new lyrics sung badly. True Baby Crack if ever such a thing existed.

Loony tunes of course are the fun-loving band of regulars. Slapstick comedy put to the music of great composers.

So what's my problem with these shows? Well, I have the same problem with two characters. Each Character features a character that has never learned to pronounce their Rs.

Huh?

Think Elmer Fudd. Hunting "Wabbits." Wonderpets has a little duck with the same issue. It is probably cute to a lot of parents. Many Young children like these characters because they share this affliction. I am sure this is one reason the writers have put these little guys in the shows in the first place.

Okay, so why is it a problem?

Well, I have a problem with a show normalizing something that we should be trying to fix. I again an sure this sounds insensitive. They have speech impediments right? I don't know. I am not a speech pathologist. I leave that to the pros. (Elizabeth, let me know eh?) I do know that every friend I had as a youth who had this problem eventually "outgrew" it.

Why do we want our children to hear this as normal and then try to train them to hear the sounds? I simply feel this is a problem. It bugs me. It is my pet peeve. It is not necessarily reasonable. I guess it would be like having a character pick his nose or wet himself as part of his normal persona. It sends a mixed message.

I hate that this entry is so poorly written. I simply sat down to write. I let the words come. I know the grammar is bad. I recognize this would be a poorly graded paper. Part of me likes the irony of that. I am writing about proper linguistic communication and I am writing like some uneducated dolt. Maybe I'll rewrite it some day. Maybe I'll format it and make it all pretty. I'll re-read it and make certain my grammar is up to snuff. I doubt it though. The more I think about it, the more I thing perhaps leaving it as is will reinforce the point I was trying to make in the first place. Who knows.

Hey, What shows or characters gut under your skin? Why. I never said it had to make sense to everyone. What gets your goat? Go ahead and gripe. You'll feel better.... Really.

Pet Peeve: Stupid Insensitivity

Stupid Insensitivity:

Okay, I am going to tell a story to illustrate my point here.

First: A little history for those who don't know me that well.

I am legally Blind. My vision corrected is 20/400 . For most of you that means that I see about 5% what you do. I read very close to the page and I have done so for my entire life. (News paper has been known to smudge my nose.) I suffer (the medical term not mine) from Ocular Albinism and Nystagmus. I am color blind to boot. Ocular Albinism means I have no pgment within my eyes and have very little pigmentt in my skin and hair. My appearance does differ however, from what most associate with an Albino. (They generally have what a form of Oculo Cutaneous Albinism.) Nystagmus means my eyes "dance" or move uncontrollably. Low vision is a result of the eye not developing correctly.

(Don't hold up your fingers and ask. It's terribly droll and tells you nothing about me. I does however, tell me volumes about you. ;-)

The Stage is Set. Food Court. Market Square Mall in Decatur GA. October 1988. A seventeen year-old high school student is filling out his tax forms on the first day of his new job. Chic-Fil-A cup on the table, He is hunched over the micro-type, working hard to decipher the alien forms.

A couple is seated at a nearby table. Mother and teenage daughter. They are eating and enjoying a little "girl time."

So here I am. I am filling out these strange legal documents. I am more than a little stressed.

Mom (from the table next door) leans over and says, "Damn! you need some new glasses!"

Now you can imagine I am a little taken aback by this. I mean, I have never had a problem talking to any one who wanted to know about my visual difficulties. I take it as my duty to be an educator and advocate to the general public.

I look over at her and promptly reply, "Damn! you need some new manners!"

Daughter is beginning to sink below the table. I am not sure if it is out of embarrassment or simply to avoid the conflict. But she remains silent and is literally sinking in her seat.

Mom exclaims the she "never."

I reply that perhaps she "should have."

I am thoroughly mad and she is as well. She promptly picks up her bag and storms off. Her daughter slinking after.

This story gets to me on several levels as I grow older. I can be proud that I did not allow her to go unanswered. I can be disappointed that I let her get to me. I can also be upset that I messed one of the best come-backs I have ever thought of.

"Maybe so, but you need a new brain and some manners. I can go to a DR for mine. Where are you going to go?"

Anyway, I digress.

My point here is this.

Why is it that some people feel they can talk to me about me handicap as though it is not one?

If I were an amputee, I would never hear a stranger say that I walk "almost as bad" as they.

I here it all the time though from customers and others regarding my vision. I often get the, "Your eyes are almost as bad as mine." I generally ignore it. They are not worthy of the education I can provide. It simply amazes me that they seem to see nothing wrong with it.

Would these same people say similar things to a deaf person? do they tell granny to get a new hip because she needs a walker? Worse, would they address a person of a different race and suggest they get a new skin color? (Although our society has had times.)

I can not control how God made me. These are God's fingerprints you see here. I get by much better than many of those who have similar or worse problems. I am extremely grateful for the little vision I do have.

I can easily forgive a child with innocent curiosity. I gladly speak about my vision with anyone who has genuine interest and concern. What I see is less than many on a physical level. I see far more than many with my heart, mind, and soul. Education is a major role in the life of any person with a disability.

So why, after more than 20 years do I remember this one encounter more than any other?

I really can not say. It may be because of the stress load that it compounded. It brought to light the insecurities I was feeling as I began a new career. It brought what many call my invisible handicap into the visible realm.

I am not sure. I just know that this one incident has in many ways molded who I am. Would this woman ever remember it? Who knows? She made a difference in my life. I do not thank her for it. I do not condemn her either. I simply hope that her daughter learned something that day about being sensitive. I am sure she learned something she didn't want to learn about her mother.

So here it is. If you want to know about my eyes.... Just ask. Do so with respect and you will get an honest answer. You will likely get a lesson in anatomy as well. I only hope I also teach you a little more about the people that have limitations and have to do things differently. I hope I can teach yu just how much we can accomplish. I hope to teach you a thing or two about hear, drive, strength, and faith too.

Pet Peeves

I know I am a grouch. I am a lovable grouch, but I like to gripe and complain about anything that happens to get people to listen to me. That’s just who I am. There are some things that get under my skin however. Things that really get my ire up. So you might think of this blog as the diary of a raving lunatic.

PET PEEVES:

I use the term pet here for a reason. We like our pets. Generally we nurture and feed them. My pet peeves are like that. I like having them as items to gripe about in the absence of any real complaint. These are things that I actually like to complain about.

Language:

Okay, If you have not read and agreed to the disclaimer, then you probably need to turn back now.

First off. I am a lover of language. I worked hard to learn Spanish and I truly believe that language is the best way to connect with people. Making that connection makes it possible to learn about people and become their friends.

That being said, I do not understand why a person would move to a country and not bother to learn the language of that country.

When I was headed back to Germany in 1991, I made a point of learning a basic vocabulary. I believe it is a basic courtesy. I didn't try to become fluent. I was visiting for a month. I did however try to be sure that I could communicate on some basic level. I did not simply expect the country to want to talk to me in my language.

Is it right that I have to consider whether my employees are bilingual because it is assumed that the client is not?

Why would someone handicap themselves by limiting their own ability to function within a society in which they choose to live? They limit their own options for employment. Thy restrict the areas they can shop. In short, they short-circuit the very opportunities they have come to America to enjoy. I know this is not the "politically correct" point of view, but try to follow my logic here. (Such as it is)

These people have made a decision to isolate themselves. I have little regard for their lack of respect for themselves, My country, and me.

There is a group who have a hard time communicating however, for whom it is not a choice. A group of people who modern business make little - if any - attempt to ensure a clear line of communications. -- The Deaf.

We live in a society where employers are excited about having an employee who speaks Hindi, Spanish, Urdu, etc. We are interested in appeasing those who have come to our country and not yet learned the language. (I am making the assumption that they will in fact be learning the language. Does that make me naive?)

Why is it that our public schools have a language requirement and Sign Language is not an option? We teach Latin, (dead language) French, Spanish, German. We even teach Russian and Japanese in some places. My son's school has even begun a program offering Mandarin Chinese. We offer all these choices yet don't see the value in teaching our children Sign Language?

We claim to be inclusive. We claim to be forward thinking. We claim to be sensitive to the needs of others, but we fail this one basic test. We fail to make the attempt to be inclusive and sensitive to a group of people who are marginalized by their disability. The person who makes America their home but fails to learn the language has isolated themselves by choice. The person who can not hear or speak due to a handicap are isolated by a society who chooses to ignore them. They are marginalized by a business community that appears to value the immigrant over the handicapped.

I know there is not a conscious movement afoot to alienate the deaf. I simply see that the education system and business community have simply "let it slide". The ratios are better for them if they focus on the other languages. It in no way however, is of any use to those who have no choice in their inability to communicate normally.

I can teach language to a person who cannot speak it. I cannot teach he deaf to hear.

So... Who has the responsibility to to bridge the communications gap? If language is a requirement for students, should we not be giving them the option to learn something that will help them? should we not be help them actually be the world citizens we claim we want them to be?  Should we not give them the chance to demonstrate the sensitivity and inclusion we focus on?

Shouldn't we teach them to speak?

Disclaimer

Okay, First a disclaimer.

The thoughts and views expressed her are (mostly) my own.

1. I can not be held responsible for your interpretation of what I say.

2. I can not be expected to treat your bruised toes if my words happen to step on them.

3. What goes for toes goes, for egos.

4. I like to play Devil's advocate to make you think. If you don't like to think, that’s your fault.

5. It is understood that this is my blog. By reading it you are in fact ASKING for my opinion. If you don't like my opinion, you can write your own blog. I might ask for your opinion by reading it.

6. I like to be a little inflammatory in my topics. Read this with a nice glass of cold water to help cool your head.

7. Understand that writing is a form of expression. It does not convey sarcasm well. It can not show you my face or my eyes. That being said, don't think you can always tell when I am just kidding or when I am serious. I have a hard enough time knowing that myself.

8. I don’t know everything. I just like to sound that way. I will rarely admit this however so so make sure to make a copy of this for yourself. I’ll only deny saying it later.


9. I believe in a living God who created man in His image. I am a Christian and I write from that perspective. This is not a debatable topic for me. I'm not perfect. If I were, I wouldn't need a Savior.
10. Thanks for reading. You are really welcome to respond. I will however, NOT engage in open debate here. Friendly banter of course knows no bounds.

Okay…. On with the Grand Spectacle.